Queen gave us some tips, advising that you should “be in a comfortable spot where you feel safe make sure you are with a person you can trust take deep breaths really take your time” and adding, “Beginner anal is not quickie material. It’s the same with anal sex-and practice makes perfect. If you have a vulva, you were probably a little tense and nervous when you first started using penetrative vaginal toys or having partnered vaginal sex. If this is your first time experimenting with butt play, you might feel tense and nervous, and that’s totally natural.
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The key to enjoying anal play is staying relaxed. Once you’re feeling good, you can always work your way up to larger ones. You may want to start with smaller and thinner butt plugs, anal dildos, and vibrators for masturbation or partnered sex-but make sure they have a base so they can’t slip all the way in.
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“Lube is a must and should be applied to the anus, the toy, or the body part you’re using to insert and stimulate, and-if you have a lube shooter-into the rectum itself-more lube is almost always better,” Queen says. If you have silicone toys (and a lot of toys are silicone), try not to use silicone-based lube go for water- or gel-based lubes. Which lube you should get is based on what material your toys are made from.
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Unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so feel free to go a little wild with the slippery stuff. When you’re exploring anal pleasure for the first time, it’s important to be as relaxed as possible, make sure you have a ton of personal lubricant, and if you plan on graduating to anal penetration with another person, we cannot stress how important communication is. “ solo, you get to choose your toys and timing, go slow, learn your responses, and familiarize yourself with the sensations of anal insertion.”
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“Exploring solo is a great way to start, even if your goal is anal intercourse with a partner,” says Carol Queen, staff sexologist at sex-toy retailer Good Vibrations. If you want to experiment with anal sex, it’s always a good idea to add some toys to your arsenal to ensure your first time is smooth and fun, and feels good. So you want to incorporate anal play into solo (or partnered) sex but don’t know where to start? That’s okay! The key is to find anal sex toys that can help you prep, pay attention to how your body responds, and go slow and steady.